The Appetizer 🥗
Church of Scams: The Grift that Keeps on Giving (Ep. 2)
Understanding the ancestral practice of sticking shit up your ass in the name of health(ism)
Alright, last time we talked about one of the sacred pillars in the Church of Scams: the appeal to nature fallacy. This week, we’re diving into another gem: the false cause fallacy.
In other words, it’s the idea that just because something happens after an event, that event must have caused it. Like, “I did X, then Y happened, so obviously X caused Y.” It’s one of the church of scams’ favorite moves. Whether it’s a detox tea or some wild cleanse, the message is always the same: buy into this ritual and voila, you’ll unlock your healthiest, purest self. But here’s the reality: just because you feel better after doing something doesn’t mean it’s the thing that made you feel better. Yet people swear by these treatments, celebrating the "results" without ever really questioning what caused them.
In the Church of Scams, wellness is more than just a luxury—it’s basically a VIP pass.
And zaddy of healthism, John Harvey Kellogg? He freaking nailed it with his obsession over the false cause fallacy, catering to the wealthy with his strange treatments. He diagnosed them with “autointoxication,” and then sold them the solution! (Sound familiar?) Well, if yogurt helps your gut when you eat it, why not take it to the next level and boof it?
In reality, wellness wasn’t just about feeling good—it was about access. This iteration of health was never about collective health, but celebrating healthism, the idea that being "pure" or "healthy" makes you morally superior. And for the most devout (read: rich), wellness became less about actual health and more about signaling status.
And now, picture this: you’re scrolling instagram and you see a girl running down her list of wellness practices: raw ground beef savory oatmeal bowl, red light therapy, coffee enema (click here to ruin your IG algorithm) —unaware that in the 1800s, the wellness zaddy himself, Dr. John Harvey Kellogg, introduced the concept of yogurt enemas for “detoxification.” Then it trickled down through his sanitarium, spread to wellness blogs, and now, it’s made its way to the algorithmic influencers. You didn’t think sticking various breakfast foods up your butt was an original idea?
If you’re thinking this is some new, bizarre practice, you’re mistaken. What you’re witnessing is the continuation of an an ancestral practice. It began long ago when Kellogg decided that introducing food into the other end—(*cough* your butthole *cough*)—was the key to health and wellness. He believed that most sicknesses came from the bowels and blamed undigested meat for causing diseases. To fix this, he thought the bowels needed to be cleaned out. After the water cleaning, he would use yogurt, both by eating it and using it in enemas, because he thought the bacteria in yogurt could help protect the body from disease. He even shared he started every day with an enema! (Sound familiar??)
Fortunately for us, we don’t need to go to extremes to maintain digestive health. There are far less risky, more straightforward options—like staying hydrated, exercising regularly, and eating a high-fiber diet—that do the job without boofing breakfast (Healthline). But now we can recognize a devout disciple of the Church of Scams celebrating the sacred practice of boofing. How wonderful for us!!
🌮The Main Course 🌯 (pt.1)
Okay, let me confess one of my guilty pleasures: listening to wellness podcasts. I know! Me? How?? Honestly I don’t even know, maybe it’s my brain worm trying to take over, but it’s kind of helpful to see what my patients, followers, and random people on the internet are tuning into. I give extra credit when they bring on a nutrition expert because, without fail, there’s always an appeal to authority. And more often than not, they’re certified by the Institute for Integrative Nutrition (IIN). Is there a link between this and the brainworm of clean wellness? Maybe, maybe not. But from what I’ve seen, your basic, conventionally attractive, low-tox, clean wellness influencer is usually sporting that IIN certification.
After listening to an episode of Lipstick on the Rim with Molly Sims featuring holistic nutritionist Sarah Wragge, I knew it would be a good, juicy episode of nutrition mis- and dis-information.
I listened to it so you don’t have to! So let’s go through all the claims made by the holistic nutritionist who happens to be (coincidentally) certified by IIN.
The podcast begins with Sarah Wragge’s (villain) origin story. Her wellness journey began after years of struggling with chronic health issues like bloating, acid reflux, and rheumatoid arthritis. Despite numerous prescriptions, her symptoms persisted until a chance encounter with a doctor led her to an acupuncturist, an herbalist, and an exploration of holistic healing. Like many people drawn to alternative medicine, she shared her feelings of disillusionment with conventional healthcare. A common experience: her mistrust stemmed from her negative personal experience and overall perception of the Western medicine/treatment, which lead her to explore alternative medicine: Traditional Chinese Medicine (TCM), IIN, and clean wellness. Note: this skepticism creates a fertile ground for conspiracy theories, as individuals begin to question not just healthcare but all established institutions.
**Side note: let me start by saying, I believe in Traditional Chinese Medicine (TCM). But there’s a wild contradiction in the current version of clean wellness. It manages to appropriate TCM while clustering views of xenophobia and racism. It's like this specific strain of healthism cherry-picks what it wants from other cultures, all while clinging to harmful, exclusionary beliefs. It’s giving early 2000s Goop vibes - cultural appropriation but make it white woman aspirational. I’m not saying this podcast or the guest is guilty of this, but I am saying this is a common occurrence in this space. Just something I’ve noticed.
Okay back to the podcast. After addressing an overgrowth of candida and switching to an anti-inflammatory, alkalizing diet, Sarah saw dramatic improvements in her health. Inspired by her transformation, she pursued “formal education” in nutrition (IIN Certification) and founded Sarah Wragge Wellness (SWW) to help others achieve lasting lifestyle changes.
So let’s go through all the things needed to be well (points 1 through 9 cover the first twenty minutes of the podcast, so there will likely be a part 2 coming).
(🚩Content warning: implied restriction, discussion of calories):
(08:54) “Sugar is plain and simply the devil” - recommendation: eliminate sugar from the diet. As a dietitian, it’s my understanding that sugar is actually the body’s choice fuel source. Carbohydrates get broken down in to glucose (a.k.a sugar) molecules and with the help of the hormone insulin can be used as energy. Now, in the context of this discussion, YES added sugars in excess can lead to undesirable health consequences. However, I would never recommend anyone 🚩 avoid/detox sugar. Instead, I find the American Heart Association recommendation —limiting added sugars to no more than 6% of calories each day— to be much more helpful and manageable.
(09:12) “I added greens, I added things that would alkalize” - recommendation: 🚩 follow an alkaline diet. According to Healthline: claims that [the alkaline diet] boosts health by altering pH levels are not supported by reliable studies. 🚩But don’t worry, she sells her own supplement greens powder if you need one.
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